Blog 3 - Being you

What does it mean to be you?

Honestly, what does it mean to be you? We have so many different classifications for people in this world that it's like we are better off with a class system all over again, but then again don't we still have that? What makes you better than everyone else here? Because you have material things like money? Money, power, wealth, those are all material things in this life that shouldn't matter, but they do. What's the point in letting material things control us? Now a days you see toddlers with iPhones. Crap, my little sister is 7 and knows how to email, use facebook, download apps, etc! We are becoming machines people!! I can honestly say that I have no friends in the town I live in... Well I have one, but he lives near the mall that's technically considered a different city but not at the same time. So I don't think it counts. My true friends I've met online. I have one or two at my school that I go to now (Not in my City might I add), but I never hang out with them and my friends online I don't hang out with either. You know what we do is text. So how can you really know who you are if your nose is always in a phone, tablet, computer?? 

You are probably thinking ohhhhhh great, just another one of those people who are against technology, against popular belief I actually like technology, but how does looking at a screen show me who I am? What does it do to show me who I am? I actually spent today with barely anyone to text me. I was completely lost, I didn't know what in the hello kitty to do. I was constantly checking my phone to see if someone texted me, even though I had just checked it two or three minutes ago. Why are we so consumed by material things??

Have you asked yourself lately if you like who you've become? Do you like what others think of you? Do YOU accept you for you? Or are you trying to be what everyone else wants you to be? I want to become a writer, I want to own a ranch with horses and make a get away for people who have been bullied, for people who have been abused, tortured, raped, I want to adopt kids and give them a better life. What are your goals? Is what you are doing today going to help you achieve those goals? You could have asked me my freshman year what I wanted to be, I would be telling you the same thing I'm telling you now. Since I was little I knew exactly what I wanted to be. I've been one of the lucky ones, and I spend every day trying to be the best that I can be and taking the little steps to making a difference in other peoples lives. This blog here is one of those steps to being what I want to be. Do I think 30 or  40 years from now I'm going to be blogging? No, I hope by then I'll be writing books and changing peoples lives that way. For now though, I'm going to change your life this way.

If you can't look in the mirror and say you don't like yourself, if you are sitting here reading this and saying "maybe I have made some really bad choices", then you need to figure out what you want, what it is that you, YOU. want to be because no one can tell you who to be. No one can make you be someone you don't want to be if you don't let them. My grandma once told me this "You get to decided if someone makes you happy, sad, upset, or any other emotion. Or you can decided that you want to be happy today and not let anyone change your idea of who you are." That's maybe one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten and I wouldn't have been able to say it any better myself. 

Now take that and see it like this: 

You get to decide what you want to be meaning No one has the right to do that for you.

You let people change you into what you don't want to be meaning You let people walk all over you and you obey them like a dog because you think it makes you fit in. 

Don't let people change you, don't let someone else tell you what you should be, what you should do, what you can't do. Material things like labels, phones, money, clothing don't matter, they never should. What should matter is what defines being you, who you let be your friends, and how you control your life. No one should be allowed to walk all over you or control who you are. You alone have that right. 

Like always 

Love you all 

V

Blog 2 - Why boys make me mad!

Welcome back. So today I'm going to rant  and rave quite a lot. You see boys, men, dudes, what ever they want to call themselves, make me completely and utterly mad most the time. Why can't they just be nice? Why do they have to be disrespectful? Why do they make jokes like: "hey girl want to hear a joke? Women's rights."

You, ignorant boys, want to know what's funny? Your attitude is what's funny. You know you came out of a woman right? If you didn't know, I'll give you a brief explanatory or tutorial if you will on how you were conceived. If you don't know what those big words mean. Pick up the dang dictionary! Anyway so mommy and daddy had sex. Daddy's sperm connected to mommy's egg. 9 months later you were pushed out of her vagina. Bam right there. Born from a WOMAN. 

So what's the point in degrading women? We worked our butts off to get to where we are now and we are still fighting for equality! African Americans fought for their rights, yet you don't hear people walking down the street saying "yo my ninja (not gonna say the n word) wanna hear. Something funny?" Next dude "wha bruh?" First dude "yo Ninja its black people rights." We are the same as anyone else in the world. We wanted our liberty and we got it. That's not a bad thing. If you want to think it's a bad thing then grow up! We don't need your bad attitude!! We have a mind of our own, a body of our own, it's not yours, you don't own it! 

If I want to walk around with my breasts hanging out of my shirt, I WILL! Not that I do that but you get my point. You have free will. We do not need men to tell us how to run our lives, we aren't helpless, we aren't worthless. Right now we have more worth then you boys who think that women should be in the kitchen, or a women with an opinion is a whore.  Guess what we think of men who don't know how to get their heads out of their butts. Oh great, just another lonely caveman. 

You know, women don't want a man who disrespects other women. It's like the ultimate turn off. You can do some much more stuff with your life, you want to sit there and degrade someone? How horrible are you? Just the other day I was called a Dime Store Whore, all because I told this guy to stop talking to me, I didn't want him to sit there and yell at me because I asked him to not talk to me. You boys are all immature when you take it out on other people. You make yourself look bad and that's no ones fault, but your own. 

I'm done with this rant, I may pick up on it another time. 

Mini - 5 Step

5 Steps to Making a Change

1. You need to realize that a Change needs to be made. You can't expect someone to tell you that it's time to change, you have to realize it for yourself. If you don't think you need to change and someone telling you to change, that will not help you change into a better person. 
2. Figure out what you want to change in your life and work on those things. When I figured out that I was making myself be broken and not moving, I worked on the things that I feared. Now I don't have as many triggers or stressors. (Yes stressors is not a word, but I have freedom of the press so I shall make up my own words when I please)
3. Ask for help. You can't always do this by yourself and it's okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak. Even I am still learning to ask for help and it's hard if you've never asked for help.
4. Take time to do what you like to do, not what others like to do. By doing things you like to do will calm you down, relax you, and make you feel better about the day. You just have to take a few minutes a day to relax yourself. You time is the best time.
5. Make a goal and commit to it. Goals give you something to work towards, once you have reached that goal make a new one. There are so many things you can accomplish in your life that can make you a better person, and when you reach you dream goal. MAKE A NEW ONE! Or you will feel like you have given yourself the short end of the stick.

Sincerely

V

Blog 1 - In the Beginning

Honestly, where should I begin? Maybe with the child sleeping in my lap? Or his mother sleeping in the hospital bed before me? Life has no limits does it? Your mind is the only place that sets those limits. By now you must be thinking  I'm some old man or a wise woman. Unfortunately for all of you, I'm a 17 year old girl, with big dreams and big plans for me. I've been told I'm wise beyond my years and that's okay. Sometimes you need to be wiser than others around you so that you can help them through their tough times. It's almost as if your purpose in life, is to be that person. No, I'm not going to sit here a rant about religion, that's not the topic for this post tonight. Sorry. 

This post is titled In the Beginning, because where else should you start? In the beginning I was like most children, like most teenagers. Then MY world got knocked upside down. With every breath I took after what happened to me. I knew I needed to change and a really good friend of mine told me, I couldn't change unless I knew what I wanted to change into or how I was going to get to be that changed person. It took me two years of feeling like I was completely lost in this huge world. Only to find out, I was the one who made myself lost. 

How crazy is that? That I made myself feel that way? Some people blame their attacker for why they end up being who they are today, and other people live in fear of what tomorrow will bring. Did you know that 99% of the people that call the support helplines are family and friends of people who need the support? Or they are people who just want someones attention on them. That 1% is people who don't know how to ask for help, who don't know they are holding themselves back. As humans, we don't care enough about each other. When we really should. 

Think about life this way. Years from now, your grand kids are researching the family and you are scared they might find something you regret. You may not regret it now, but in years to come, you might regret it. Then your loving grand kids, don't want to be around you, they don't want a grandparent, aunt, uncle, mom, and dad, that hurt, bullied, abused, killed, raped, destroyed someones life. Do you really want that to be your Legacy? I sure wouldn't want that to be mine. 

Growing up all I did was befriend the kids that no one wanted to be friends with, that got bullied on a daily basis, and I stood up for them, I took the attention off of those who were weak and got it turned on me. I didn't care if I was the one being bullied, I didn't care if I was shoved into lockers, tripped down stairs, called all the bad names in school. As long as my friends were safe, I was happy taking all the pain and harassment. 

What would you want to be remembered as? I want to be remembered as the person who tried to change lives, those who didn't have someone to stand up for them and then a stranger came along and saved them. That is who I am, that is my legacy. Yes as I grow older and accomplish my dreams, My Legacy will change. It will only get better. This is a quote I came up with "Who you are today, is designed by your past. Who you are tomorrow, is designed by what you do today."

Now think about this, what did you do today that might change who you are tomorrow? Was it a good thing? Did you save a kitten from a tree? Help your little brother with his math homework? Or was it bad? Did you do drugs that kill brain cells? Call some sweet girl a whore because you thought it would be funny? Did you smack your mom because she told you that you couldn't do something?

What are you going to do to change who you are? Do you like who you are? 

Back to that baby I was talking about in the beginning, his journey hasn't started yet, and I'm sure he's going to have bumps in the road, but he has people around him that will love and support him, his mother that has raised her oldest children to be good young men and women. Me, being her only daughter, I am proud to say that my mom raised me to be who I am today. I'm also not going to let her take all the credit because it was my actions that made me who I am, it was her guidance that made me make those decisions. That baby has the same wonderful woman to raise him, and he will get to be in this spot one day, deciding if the path he's on will destroy him or raise him higher. Hopefully it will be the latter of the two.

Sincerely

V.