Blog 1 - In the Beginning

Honestly, where should I begin? Maybe with the child sleeping in my lap? Or his mother sleeping in the hospital bed before me? Life has no limits does it? Your mind is the only place that sets those limits. By now you must be thinking  I'm some old man or a wise woman. Unfortunately for all of you, I'm a 17 year old girl, with big dreams and big plans for me. I've been told I'm wise beyond my years and that's okay. Sometimes you need to be wiser than others around you so that you can help them through their tough times. It's almost as if your purpose in life, is to be that person. No, I'm not going to sit here a rant about religion, that's not the topic for this post tonight. Sorry. 

This post is titled In the Beginning, because where else should you start? In the beginning I was like most children, like most teenagers. Then MY world got knocked upside down. With every breath I took after what happened to me. I knew I needed to change and a really good friend of mine told me, I couldn't change unless I knew what I wanted to change into or how I was going to get to be that changed person. It took me two years of feeling like I was completely lost in this huge world. Only to find out, I was the one who made myself lost. 

How crazy is that? That I made myself feel that way? Some people blame their attacker for why they end up being who they are today, and other people live in fear of what tomorrow will bring. Did you know that 99% of the people that call the support helplines are family and friends of people who need the support? Or they are people who just want someones attention on them. That 1% is people who don't know how to ask for help, who don't know they are holding themselves back. As humans, we don't care enough about each other. When we really should. 

Think about life this way. Years from now, your grand kids are researching the family and you are scared they might find something you regret. You may not regret it now, but in years to come, you might regret it. Then your loving grand kids, don't want to be around you, they don't want a grandparent, aunt, uncle, mom, and dad, that hurt, bullied, abused, killed, raped, destroyed someones life. Do you really want that to be your Legacy? I sure wouldn't want that to be mine. 

Growing up all I did was befriend the kids that no one wanted to be friends with, that got bullied on a daily basis, and I stood up for them, I took the attention off of those who were weak and got it turned on me. I didn't care if I was the one being bullied, I didn't care if I was shoved into lockers, tripped down stairs, called all the bad names in school. As long as my friends were safe, I was happy taking all the pain and harassment. 

What would you want to be remembered as? I want to be remembered as the person who tried to change lives, those who didn't have someone to stand up for them and then a stranger came along and saved them. That is who I am, that is my legacy. Yes as I grow older and accomplish my dreams, My Legacy will change. It will only get better. This is a quote I came up with "Who you are today, is designed by your past. Who you are tomorrow, is designed by what you do today."

Now think about this, what did you do today that might change who you are tomorrow? Was it a good thing? Did you save a kitten from a tree? Help your little brother with his math homework? Or was it bad? Did you do drugs that kill brain cells? Call some sweet girl a whore because you thought it would be funny? Did you smack your mom because she told you that you couldn't do something?

What are you going to do to change who you are? Do you like who you are? 

Back to that baby I was talking about in the beginning, his journey hasn't started yet, and I'm sure he's going to have bumps in the road, but he has people around him that will love and support him, his mother that has raised her oldest children to be good young men and women. Me, being her only daughter, I am proud to say that my mom raised me to be who I am today. I'm also not going to let her take all the credit because it was my actions that made me who I am, it was her guidance that made me make those decisions. That baby has the same wonderful woman to raise him, and he will get to be in this spot one day, deciding if the path he's on will destroy him or raise him higher. Hopefully it will be the latter of the two.

Sincerely

V.